Could this be the last edition of the weary BBC satirical news program? Paul Merton and Ian Hislop clear their throats to parody Boris in this week’s opening broadcast of the 64th season of Have I Got News For You.
After eliminating Mock The Week, Beeb cost-cutting bean counters saw a chance to save millions by ending 32 years of HIGNFY.
The two yearly series, with ancillary workers, cost over £2 million in “talent” alone. It isn’t cheap, with Hislop and Merton taking home around £20,000 apiece every episode and guest presenters trousering up to £15,000 each.
The BBC has already conducted preliminary research. Have I Got Old News For You hasn’t used the word “Old” in recent repeat broadcasts. Did anybody catch that?
The Queen will lead a special prayer at Balmoral to commemorate tomorrow’s 25th anniversary of Diana’s passing. The tenth anniversary of royal deaths is only properly observed by HM. She traveled from Balmoral to London for Diana’s tenth wedding anniversary in 2007, and she also attended a memorial ceremony for her mother Margaret and sister Margaret at St. George’s Chapel in 2012. She is a devout Christian and approaches death with a certain stoicism, in contrast to her ancestor Queen Victoria, who declared December 14—the anniversary of Prince Albert’s death in 1861—a day of continuous austerity during which the family wore black and stood beside his grave at Frogmore.
According to sister Rachel, the late Charlotte Johnson couldn’t be bothered to launder Boris Johnson’s clothes when he was a student at Eton. She remembers, “My mum used to pay me 50p a shirt to iron my brother’s clothing.” ‘After two shirts, I really put my foot down. The major reason I needed the money was because I couldn’t iron. Both Carrie and perpetually scruffy Boris cannot be trusted, it seems.
When Jaime Winstone first put on the wig for Peggy Mitchell, the young Barbara Windsor’s EastEnders alter ego, she claims to have heard Babs’ voice.
According to Jaime, who is shown in costume, the Carry On actor gave her the thumbs up from beyond the dead. She also said that a small blonde butterfly kept flying into her yard. My dog eats them all, so we don’t get many. Though you can tell when you know.
In the Queen Vic, is there a Ouija board?
Former director of BBC Music Entertainment Trevor Dann claims that Beeb executives showed little concern for the disgruntled listeners who were affected by the departure of Paul O’Grady and Simon Mayo from Radio 2. According to him, the managers don’t care what you think, so if you’re fuming about how shabbily they’re treating you, don’t bother writing to complain. The Beeb’s modernizers saw Radio 2 as a cozy, traditional high-street bar. The jovial landlord exits the building with his tankards and dartboard. Baristas, shot glasses, and open air-conditioning pipes enter the room. final orders!
Has Dan Walker been making an unintentional effort to get people to his new Channel 5 program? The three-times-married, devout Christian tweets, “Fantastic reception to Dogging For Treasure!” Dan, who is in need, explains in a panic: “DIGGING.”