Just before the Queen passed away, I took a trip down memory lane to the enchanted Outer Hebridean island of Berneray, where just over 30 years ago, King Charles and I spent almost alone (apart from a tiny film team) a week there.
He invited me to Berneray to film a 60-minute documentary for ITV on his love for the Western Isles, Scotland, and the Gaelic people back then, of course, since he was Prince Charles at the time.
These windswept islands at the extreme frontier of the United Kingdom have more significance to Charles than anywhere else in the whole globe.
Charles was content to “rough it” in a modest crofter’s home, where his attic bedroom was no bigger than a Balmoral cupboard and the family’s black cat had to be shooed off his single bed every night because, it’s a little-known fact, our new King doesn’t like cats. Berneray has 186 residents, so there are no palaces there, but Charles was more than happy to “rough it” in a small-town environment.
Together with his hosts Gloria and Donald “Splash” McKillop, Charles ate filling, straightforward meals.
At the kitchen table, we had typical Scottish cuisine like tatties and mince, which Charles devoured so quickly that he often started snatching my plate’s potatoes out of mischief.
Charles seemed to be as carefree and cheerful as a schoolboy despite being in his fourth decade at this point. But he may get lost in thought as fast as an Atlantic breeze might sweep Berneray’s coasts, turning light into darkness.
We often took lengthy walks on the three miles of lonely West Beach, where surging ocean swells made their first landfall since America, after the camera stopped rolling. He would sometimes speak with what seemed like dread about what fate had predetermined his life would be.
‘Selina You have a lot of luck. You don’t have a detailed plan of your life that includes every minute, hour, and day, he stated.
During this time, his marriage to Diana was disintegrating, and he frequently went to the rocks with his paints and canvas to escape the pain and confusion he was undoubtedly experiencing. He did this in an effort to capture Berneray’s elusive beauty and its sadness, which at the time seemed to reflect his own turbulence.
Our videographer said to have never seen a guy that dejected.
What our cinematographer, Alistair Watt, said to me one day as he watched Charles via his TV camera is something I’ll never forget. “I’ve never seen a guy so depressed,” he said.
I found Alistair’s comment to be really poignant. Charles shared his deepest concerns and feelings earlier than he has ever done so in public. He has subsequently learned to be more guarded as a result of harsh criticism and pain.
He confessed to me, “Let me tell you that are many times I feel absolutely stuck.” I struggle a lot since I don’t have much confidence. I could very gladly choose to live a lot more sedate life and give speeches that were just filled with clichés, but I don’t believe it would accomplish anything.
Why do you feel caged, I questioned.
“I have a pretty highly developed conscience, I believe, which is continually needling me,” he said after describing the demands of privilege and duty that came with his birth. I see a lot of folks who are in far worse situations than I am and think, “Here I am in this position.” What can I do to help their situation as best I can?
“Well, I must confess that sometimes, Buckingham Palace and even my own advisors encourage me to temper my opinions before expressing them in public.
There are certain things that, upon closer examination, I must confess, may seem to be a touch risky, that might have been written at two in the morning.
However, I keep things in because I’ve always had an innate sense—maybe a sixth sense—that, no, I won’t stray from that because I truly think it would resonate. And it has often.
I do feel; the problem is, I feel passionately about a lot of things. I’m compelled to. I’m not sure where it originated. I just do. And I must express it because I feel the need to.
Although we are all free to change our minds, I believe he still holds fast to much of what he said then, even though it was long ago and he said it in a setting that was far from royal protocol and perhaps where he felt more secure and less vulnerable than anywhere else on earth at the time.
Additionally, it reveals a lot about the type of King Charles will be.
I guess it was natural that I would be reminded of his remarks and our time on the island when I returned to Berneray last month and the beach where he spoke so openly. I went there to capture the solitary beauty of this isolated island once again for ITN, to reestablish contact with the crofters, and to speak with Gloria McKillop, who is now 90 years old, about the time the Prince visited. In 2009, Donald McKillop passed away.
We were scheduled to visit Dumfries House, a Georgian estate in Ayrshire that Charles rescued for the people of Scotland because of its exquisite Chippendale furnishings.
Charles wished to demonstrate the islanders how the Berneray crofters, whose organic farming of the machair, a unique terrain of sand, shells, and grass, had so impressed him, had inspired the Dumfries Estate, which is now administered on heritage-led ideas and practises.
It is inevitable that the Queen’s passing has postponed what will be a happy reunion. Nevertheless, Berneray’s movie will be released. Following the coverage of the Queen’s burial at Westminster Abbey, which will undoubtedly be the most dramatic and intense event of our lifetimes, ITN is scheduled to air my return to the island early the following week.
At the age of three centuries, seven decades, Charles ascended to the throne. Will he leave his mark on history now that his lifetime apprenticeship is over?
Although he has vowed, like the Queen, to refrain from further critical interventions in political affairs (he has made it known, for instance, that he believes the government’s decision to send illegal immigrants to Rwanda is a terrible mistake), he also stated in his diary from 1970 that “to be just a presence would be fatal.”
I don’t have a crystal ball, but after observing Charles at private events in his homes, attending his 50th birthday party at Highgrove, and conducting three 60-minute one-on-one television interviews with him, two of them for American networks, I find it difficult to believe he will be able to hold back from making his opinions and passions known as he has promised.
It has been very emotional to see Charles handle his sorrow with such dignity since the Queen’s passing.
I should be concerned for the nation, he added.
We were all moved by the procession from Buckingham Palace to Westminster Hall as well as the beautiful solemnity he displayed when walking behind his mother’s flag-draped coffin with his brothers and sister from Holyroodhouse along the Royal Mile in Edinburgh to St Giles’ Cathedral.
His speech to the country was notable for its friendliness and certainty.
According to a study conducted last week, 63% of the nation believed he would make a fine king, up significantly from the 39% who said the same thing in March.
And yet, despite the apparent control he displayed to the public, I got the impression that I could still make out the fragility I had previously seen up close.
The sensitive young man whose destiny has finally come to pass came to me as I saw the only piper and the Royal Company of Archers honour guard as the hearse exited the Palace of Holyroodhouse, which is steeped in so much terrible Scottish history.
When Charles was a little kid, his parents took him on a sailing trip across the Western Isles during their summer vacation. They made stops for lunches on desolate beaches that were distant from the demands of Court.
I believe he was comfortable enough to share his deepest feelings on Berneray because of his safe sense of place, his fond recollections of his youth, and the kindness of the crofters, who did not treat him with excessive formality, forelock pulling, or fawning.
We discussed a variety of topics, including the jabs he took when he admitted to talking to plants to make them grow, his opinions on architecture, and how he felt about his role in the universe.
When he remarked, “I have had this wonderful sense for years and years, actually ever since I can remember, of wanting to heal and make things better,” it truly hit home.
“I believe more than anything that it is my responsibility to concern for everyone and their lives in this nation. If at all possible, I strive to find a way to improve them.”
In his touching address to the country, he included a loving, inclusive reference to Harry and Meghan, which I believe was driven by this intuitive awareness since many Britons believe the marriage poses the largest immediate danger to the Firm given the impending release of Harry’s tell-all book.
Few would contest Charles’ opportunity to find fulfilment and pleasure as he enters the fall of his years at 73. His life has sometimes been a roller coaster, far from being covered with rose petals.
Charles, as we all know, has endured much of the anguish and sadness that at some point most of us experience. This is in spite of what to outsiders will seem to be a gilded existence of power, wealth, and luxury.
He may, however, be abrasive and unpleasant. Particularly when others don’t “get it,” by which they mean they don’t get him.
I have seen instances when he has been tested. Although he does not instantly respond with a furious dispute, it is clear that he is upset. The people around him wait for the fallout, which for the unlucky may spell the end of a relationship, while he grimaces and tucks his tongue into his cheek.
His efforts are exactly what the monarchy needs.
Nevertheless, despite all of his flaws, his civility has never been questioned. I was just 25 years old and the Rothesay and island of Bute tourism officer when I first met Charles. He was the gorgeous commander of a naval ship that had just moored in Rothesay, and he wasn’t much older than I was.
His chauffeur almost ran me over on the pier as he hurried back to his ship. The moment Charles told the motorist to stop and apologise, I heard the sound of brakes screeching.
His prophetic campaigns, particularly those concerning climate change, have made him feel justified in the present, which has in turn made Charles more at ease and self-assured.
The days when Charles believed he was a fraud are long gone. He once told me, “Like those individuals who imagine they are Napoleon, I sometimes wonder whether I am actually the Prince of Wales.”
What obstacles must be overcome? His role will be to maintain the Union and the Commonwealth together, continue building the groundwork for peace in Northern Ireland, and work toward improved unity among the nation’s increasingly diverse religious groups in light of the rampant Scottish nationalism.
Given his fervent desire to preserve rural England, it is probable that he would protest to the next Prime Minister’s decision to relax the ban on fracking, which he feels will devastate the countryside and drive communities apart.
But as I’ve previously said, how can one object now that he’s vowed not to? The difficulty he faces will be that.
I think he’ll make a terrific king, but tragically, time will prevent him from attaining the same level of majesty as his mother.
Charles has often outraged people with his publicly proclaimed beliefs, but in spite of all the backlash he has faced, he has never wavered and has persisted in standing up for what he believes in.
This spirit of self-sacrifice and effort is just what the monarchy needs to endure.