Dame Deborah James has thanked well-wishers who have raised over £5.7million for the ‘most humbling five days of her life’ and said she plans to die with a ‘massive smile, no regrets and a big glass of champagne’.
The cancer-stricken mother-of-two, 40, enjoyed an afternoon of ‘tea and champagne’ with Prince William on Friday as he presented her with a Damehood for her tireless campaigning and fundraising efforts.
She took to Instagram this afternoon to post pictures of the Duke with herself and her family, saying the visit gave them ‘so much to smile about in the sadness’.
The BBC podcaster told her 686,000 followers: ‘I believe I may have had the most surreal, mind blowing, humbling 5 days of my life.
‘I cannot thank you for your generosity at launching the @bowelbabefund which now stands at £5.7 million, and to the @dukeandduchessofcambridge for going above and beyond to make a very special memory happen yesterday.
‘Can’t quite believe I’m actually a Dame! My family are being amazing and as emotional as it all is, we are finding so much to smile about in the sadness.’
She admitted to ‘getting weaker and more tired’, but continued: ‘I always said I wanted to slide in sideways when my time is up, with a massive smile, no regrets and a big glass of champagne! Still my intention!!!’
Dame Deborah has raised more than £5.7 million for Cancer Research UK through her Bowelbabe fund on Just Giving. Having set her original target at £250,000, she has now raised more than 22 times her goal.
Dame Deborah reached the £5 million milestone on Friday after donations from more than 240,000 supporters, including William and his wife Kate.
Her Just Giving page said it is ‘raising money to fund clinical trials and research into personalised medicine for cancer patients and supporting campaigns to raise awareness of bowel cancer’.
She said she was ‘completely lost for words’ after reaching the phenomenal amount. TV presenter Lorraine Kelly responded to the news, saying: ‘This is just wonderful – tears and laughter – love you @bowelbabe.’
It came just hours after she was made a dame by the Queen for her commitment to raising awareness and funds for bowel cancer following her diagnosis in 2016.
The monarch led praise for Deborah, saying she was ‘pleased’ to approve the Damehood, while the Prime Minister said ‘if ever an honour was richly deserved, this is it’.
In a post on Instagram on Friday night, Dame Deborah wrote: ‘Thanks to an incredibly generous donation earlier today, and to every single person who’s donated to the @bowelbabefund, we’ve just reached the unbelievable total of £5m.
‘We’re completely lost for words. This is all just beyond anything we could have ever imagined. The last five days have been surreal.’
She added: ‘Thank you for putting a huge smile on my face, and helping us to launch a legacy to hopefully impact a lifetime cutting edge cancer care.’
Since being diagnosed with bowel cancer six years ago, the former headteacher has kept her Instagram and social media followers up to date with her treatments.
She has now raised more than £5.1 million with her Bowelbabe Fund for Cancer Research UK – averaging more than £1.2m per day this week.
Having set her original target at £250,000, she has now raised more than 20 times her goal.
On Thursday night, Number 10 confirmed that James is to be made a dame, saying: ‘The Queen has been pleased to approve that the honour of Damehood be conferred upon Deborah James.’
Prime Minister Boris Johnson said: ‘If ever an honour was richly deserved, this is it. Deborah has been an inspiration and her honesty, warmth and courage has been a source of strength to so many people.
Through her tireless campaigning and by so openly sharing her experience she has not only helped in our fight against this terrible disease, she has ensured countless others with the Big C have not felt alone.
‘I hope this recognition from Her Majesty – backed I’m sure by the whole country – will provide some comfort to Deborah and her family at this difficult time. My thoughts are with them and Deborah should know she has the country’s love and gratitude.’
She has now revealed her shock at being made a Dame, telling The Sun: ‘I don’t know what to say. I’m blown away and feel incredibly honoured. I don’t feel like I deserve this. I can’t tell you what this means to my family, it’s so much to take in.’
Ms James said that she would love for the fundraiser to reach £5 million by the weekend.
Dame Deborah’s children Hugo and Eloise said they were ‘speechless’ and ‘so, so proud’, while husband Seb said a damehood was ‘something that she would never have dreamt of but it is so truly deserved’.
Damehoods and knighthoods are usually listed in the New Year or Queen’s Birthday Honours, but in exceptional circumstances some are announced at other times.
The teacher-turned-podcaster has moved millions as she announced in a heartbreaking message that active treatment for her bowel cancer was stopping and that she was moving to hospice at home care to die.
The mother-of two is preparing to spend her final hours on her parents’ lawn surrounded by family, drinking Champagne, having been told by her hospice nurses: ‘You are dying, you can drink what you like.’
In a tearful final newspaper interview she said last night: ‘The one thing my family know is I am petrified of being alone. I don’t want to die alone.’ And when asked about the end of her life approaching she said: ‘I have moments when I just sob uncontrollably, but I can’t spend my last few days crying, it would be such a waste. So I’m trying to compartmentalise my death’.
She said she has started her ‘to-do death list’ to support son Hugo, 14, and daughter, Eloise, 12, when she is gone, and has urged her husband Sebastien to find love, with the caveat: ‘Don’t be taken for a ride, don’t marry a bimbo’.
Dame Deborah said she has written letters for her children to help them with their first dates and wedding days, and will buy Hugo ‘a nice pen or wallet or cufflinks’ and Eloise ‘Tiffany bracelets and earrings’ to remember her – as well as some presents and postcards from her for the future.
Her funeral is also planned where she will be cremated, but she hopes her ashes will be kept in the family kitchen ‘for a while’ before being scattered.
The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge also paid tribute to the cancer-stricken BBC podcaster, declaring that she has ‘captured the heart of the nation’, after her fundraiser passed £3.3million yesterday and continues to rise at a rate of £1million every 24 hours.
Steve Bland, co-host of the You, Me And The Big C podcast alongside Deborah James, praised the bowel cancer campaigner after her research fundraising initiative reached £4 million.
Appearing on BBC Breakfast, he said: ‘It is amazing, but this is what Deborah does. Deborah deals in the extraordinary. This is what she has done for five years.
‘Everyone is focusing on the last five days, but actually Deb has been doing this for five years, ever since she was diagnosed with incurable cancer five years ago, and since then she has just been trying to help people.
She has been banging the drum over and over and over and over – on bowel cancer symptoms, working hard to get drugs approved that she knew would help her but help loads of other people too.
‘While the last five days have been amazing – the £4 million is incredible – there are people all over the country walking around enjoying their children’s birthday parties because she has basically saved their lives.’
Bland said James had messaged him to say she would be watching the interview from her parents’ home in Woking, Surrey, where she is receiving end-of-life care.
He added: ‘I don’t know what target she will have in her mind now. Five, I guess.’
In the heartbreaking interview with The Times, Deborah also revealed how she will record letters for her children to open after she’s died, including advice for them on how to act on a first date or what to do on their wedding day.
Ms James said she’s been in hospital for months, but since undergoing hospice care, she has been planning her last hours on the lawn with her family and drinking champagne, as staff joked with her: ‘You are dying, you can drink what you like.’
The nation has been moved by her tragic story in recent days, with at least £1million in donations now being made every day to her Bowelbabe Fund for Cancer Research UK page, which she set up.
Ms James earlier spoke of wanting to die at her parents’ house in Woking, to spare son, Hugo, 14, and daughter, Eloise, 12, from constant reminders in their London home, which she won’t visit again because of the stairs. She said: ‘I can’t use my legs any more and I’m incredibly weak… my husband must lift me for everything’.
She explained how she’d had to break the news to the children, but put her full faith in husband Sebastien Bowen – a London banker she married back in 2008.
The couple briefly split up seven years later and began divorce proceedings, but soon got back together after agreeing to counselling to be on better terms for their children.
Speaking to The Times she revealed she has issued him with ‘strict instructions’ to her ‘incredible’ husband Sebastien Bowen to find love again after her death.
‘It’s been hideous telling my children. My husband Sebastien has been incredible, he has dropped everything and is with me 24/7. My first thought was [that] I don’t want my children to see me like this. I didn’t think I would be able to speak to them without crying, but I’d love one last cuddle with them.
‘We have had a string of emotional conversations that have escalated very quickly from supportive care to end-of-life care.
‘My husband Sebastien has been incredible, he has dropped everything and is with me 24/7.
‘My first thought was [that] I don’t want my children to see me like this. I didn’t think I would be able to speak to them without crying, but I’d love one last cuddle with them.’
On Monday, Miss James, announced that despite having 17 tumours removed and undergoing new procedures she has been moved to hospice care because her ‘body simply isn’t playing ball’.
She said she is now trying to ‘compartmentalise’ her death so that she can focus on her ‘to-do death list’ which includes making memory boxes and recording letters and ‘funny messages’ for her children.
‘I know materialistic things don’t matter, but I want to buy Hugo a nice pen or wallet or cufflinks,’ she said. ‘I’m going to buy my daughter some Tiffany bracelets and earrings.
‘They will have all the memories, but I want them to have a few presents in the future. I also want to write them postcards, but I have to be honest, I get really tired.’
She added: ‘At 12 and 14 I hope they will remember me, but [they are] still very young, so my image will fade and they will have to rely on videos or photos.’
She has also imparted instructions for her husband, whom she married in 2008.
‘I want him to move on,’ she said. ‘He’s a handsome man, I’m, like, ‘Don’t be taken for a ride, don’t marry a bimbo, find someone else who can make you laugh like we did [together].’
Miss James has moved to her parents bungalow in Woking as she is no longer able to use the stairs in her townhouse in Barnes, south west London because ‘cancer is eating me up’.
She said she wants ‘to die listening to my family,’ adding: ‘I just want to hear their banter and the normal buzz of life as I go.’
She has planned her funeral to ease the ‘burden’ on her loved ones and would like to be cremated.
‘I’m the kind of person that wouldn’t mind staying in the top drawer in the kitchen for a while,’ she said.
In a tweet on Wednesday, William and Kate said: ‘Every now and then, someone captures the heart of the nation with their zest for life & tenacious desire to give back to society.
‘Bowelbabe is one of those special people. Her tireless efforts to raise awareness of bowel cancer & end the stigma of treatment are inspiring.
‘We are so sad to hear her recent update but pleased to support the Bowelbabe Fund, which will benefit the The Royal Marsden NHS Foundation Trust among others.
‘Deborah, our thoughts are with you, your family and your friends. Thank you for giving hope to so many who are living with cancer. W & C.’
That evening, the managing director of The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity, Antonia Dalmahoy, thanked all of those who have donated.
‘The national outpouring of love and support for Deborah and her Bowel Babe Fund has been absolutely phenomenal and has really lifted her spirits,’ she said.
‘We’d like to thank everyone who has donated to the Fund, for The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity, Cancer Research UK and Bowel Cancer UK. This sum of money will make a huge difference to people with cancer and create a lasting legacy for Deborah.’
It came after she said she is is preparing to ‘surrender to the inevitable’ and is in end-of-life hospice care surrounded by her family, in a heartfelt ‘final’ newspaper column. Ms James wrote that her body had been left ’emaciated’ by five years of battling bowel cancer.
Charities and organisations set to benefit from the fundraising have lined up to thank her for her efforts.
Michelle Mitchell, chief executive at Cancer Research UK said: ‘Since being diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2016, Deborah James has shown an incredible commitment to campaigning, fundraising and raising awareness of cancer.
‘Even in this most challenging time, her determination to raise money and awareness is inspiring and we’re honoured to be supporting Deborah and her family in establishing the Bowelbabe Fund.
‘This fund will raise awareness of cancer alongside funds for clinical trials and research into personalised medicine, with the aim of creating new and kinder treatments for cancer patients and giving them more time with their loved ones.
‘The fund will support the work of Cancer Research UK and those causes she and her family are passionate about, for example Bowel Cancer UK, The Institute of Cancer Research and The Royal Marsden.
‘We’ve been overwhelmed by the support for the Bowelbabe Fund so far, massively exceeding its target within hours. It’s a true testament to how many people’s lives Deborah has touched with her honesty, humour and compassion.’
A spokesperson from The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity added: ‘Deborah is an absolute inspiration to so many people with cancer, and a passionate supporter of The Royal Marsden Cancer Charity. It’s typically selfless of her to spend what precious time she has left fundraising for us, Cancer Research UK and Bowel Cancer UK.
‘The Bowel Babe Fund will, as Deborah has set out, help fund clinical trials and research into personalised medicine for cancer patients and supporting campaigns to raise awareness of bowel cancer. This may include developing new drugs, and new ways of diagnosing cancer at an earlier stage.
‘As well as this fundraising legacy, Deborah’s work over the last five years to raise awareness of the symptoms of bowel cancer and the importance of early diagnosis in improving survival, will have saved and extended countless lives.’
Ms James had earlier spoken of her connection with her family to the BBC, saying they were ‘really loving’ and that she ‘adored’ them.
Ms James told the BBC: ‘I have a really loving family who I adore. Honestly, they’re incredible and all I knew I wanted was to come here and be able to relax knowing that everything was okay.
‘I’ve had some really hard conversations during the last week. You think, ‘Gosh, how can anyone have those conversations?’ and then you find yourself in the middle of them.
‘And people are very nice, but you’re talking about your own death and I’ve had five years to prepare for my death.’
The interviewer told the mother-of-two, ‘I know it’s not easy’, as she struggled to speak around her tears, to which he eventually replied: ‘It’s hard. It’s really hard.
‘The thing that I know, because I trust my husband – he’s just the most wonderful man and so is my family, and I know that my kids are going to be more than looked after and surrounded by love.
‘You always want to know as a mother – are your kids going to be okay? And my kids are going to be fine. But it doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss every chance I could have had with them.’
Remembering her former podcast co-host Rachael Bland, who died of breast cancer in 2018, Ms James told the BBC: ‘ I’m really scared. I don’t know how she could deal with such a ‘this is what I’m going to do’ [approach], I’m petrified.
‘I can’t make a deal with the devil anymore unfortunately. I just feel gutted not to have more life, ‘cos you know me, I love life so much.
‘But I do hope that all of our stories and the podcast and everything we’ve shared over the past few years has saved lives.
‘I just knew that I wanted to ensure I could leave enough money for them to do something meaningful, that would mean that we could fund projects that I myself would have benefited from 5 years ago to give me life.
‘Because you just never know do you, when that next breakthrough is going to come, but I know we have the skills and passion in this country to make things happen, but we just need to fund it properly.’
Ms James told host Tony Livesey how she was still making her way through a list of ‘death admin’ she needed to do, but the priority was remaining as comfortable as possible.
‘I can’t walk, I can’t stand, I can’t go to the loo – I can’t do really basic stuff. I’ve been doing a lot of sleeping. Just spending time watching people that I love, to just know that they are okay.
‘The more I tell myself that they are going to be okay, I know they are surrounded by love. I know they are surrounded by support – they will be fine.’
Signing off tearfully in the final episode of her podcast, she told listeners: ‘That’s it from me, I can’t believe it, which is a very sad thing to say. I’m pleased I’ve got to the point where I can say it. We’ll see each other again, somewhere, somehow, dancing. Until then, please, please, just enjoy life because it’s so precious. All I want right now is more time and more life.’
She then joked: ‘And check your poo. I can’t leave on any other word except from check your poo.’
At the start of the year, Deborah, who shares her children Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, with her husband Sebastien, announced she had ‘nearly died’ in hospital, calling it the ‘hardest’ part of her 5-year cancer battle, and was admitted as an in-patient earlier this month.
She was told early on in her diagnosis that she might not live beyond five years — a milestone that passed on Christmas of 2021.
Writing in her Instagram post, she said: ‘Nobody knows how long I’ve got left but I’m not able to walk, I’m sleeping most of the days, and most things I took for granted are pipe dreams. I know we have left no stone unturned.
‘But even with all the innovative cancer drugs in the world or some magic new breakthrough, my body just can’t continue anymore.’
‘In over 5 years of writing about how I thought it would be my final Christmas, how I wouldn’t see my 40th birthday nor see my kids go to secondary school – I never envisaged writing the one where I would actually say goodbye.