In a heartfelt late-night conversation days before her passing, Dame Deborah James’ mother, who provided her daughter the energy and time to campaign even in her dying moments, disclosed that her daughter “did not want to die.”
In addition to discussing her child’s terrible death for the first time, Heather James said that the 40-year-old had “no regrets” when they talked approximately a week before she passed away after a five-year battle with colon cancer.
The 40-year-old donated £7 million for cancer research during her last four weeks of life, was named a dame by Prince William for her “tireless” labour, and enjoyed family excursions including a trip to Royal Ascot.
The family, consisting of father Alistair, husband Sebastien, and two children, Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12, also experienced their “best days” with Deborah at this time, “even if she died at the end of it.”
Bowelgran, who goes by that name on Instagram, also spoke about her “heartache” at not being able to save her daughter’s life but how it gave her comfort to know that her legacy endures.
In addition to her clothing line with In The Style, which is still doing well, Dame Deborah is pushing millions of people to be checked for bowel cancer via the NHS.
Her book, How To Live When You Could Be Dead, is scheduled to be released in two days.
“I guess the toughest part was knowing she was going to die,” Heather continued.
The toughest thing for me to deal with, in my opinion, was the knowledge that, as a mother, I was unable to change the situation.
Knowing that she was deteriorating physically while becoming stronger psychologically, I felt unable to assist her.
We enjoyed ourselves. I can remember lying in bed probably just about a week or so before she died. She also felt really bad that night.
She then said, “I do love you,” to which I responded, “I love you,” before adding, “I have no regrets, you know.”
Who among us can say that? The toughest, saddest thing was when she did remark, “I don’t want to die.”
Heather also praised the charitable endeavours of the BBC programme You, Me, and the Big C’s host.
“I still find it incredible that she had the adoration of the people out there,” she said. And that was really important. The family has valued it much and continues to do so.
She said that she would not have been able to “cope” without the encouragement given to her daughter’s efforts, which included finishing her second book and creating a clothing line with In The Style.
‘How can you not love what she did in those eight weeks. Knowing that other people cared about her and wanted to support her in any way they could also helped.
“I don’t know what I’m going to do when you depart,” I remarked to her. She then left. “You’ll keep going and have a good time in life.”
“But I don’t know if I can,” I said. Then you haven’t treated me justice, she said. So, in my opinion, we all must.
Enjoy your life rather than merely getting by. And let’s do our best to live it. I believe Deborah is to thank for it.
Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced her as a dame, claiming that “if ever an honour was fully earned, this is it.”
Later, Dame Deborah claimed she was “honoured and startled” to be given the honour.
The Duke of Cambridge personally presented Dame Deborah with the honour in May during an unexpected trip to her parents’ home.
William “put us so much at ease when he came in,” Heather remarked of him. I tell you, it was incredible.
And he was exactly like one of my son-in-laws, he simply sat down with us. He was so charming, I believe he is the king of the people.
A record 30,000 more people requested referrals between May and July of 2021 than there were before the incredible Bowel Babe campaigner, who inspired a nation with her podcast chronicling her struggles with the disease.
The NHS reports that between May and July, 170,500 persons were referred for examinations for suspected cases of lower gastro-intestinal cancer, which is also more than 80,000 more than during the same time period two years before.
Additionally, data revealed that, up 60% from pre-pandemic levels, bowel cancer referrals reached a record high in the second week of July, soon following Dame Deborah’s passing.
Nearly 200,000 additional people visited the NHS website during the last three months to look for sickness symptoms.
Up to her passing on June 28, she had been spreading awareness of the illness.
Bowel Cancer UK’s Genevieve Edwards told BBC Breakfast that Deborah campaigned nonstop from the time she was diagnosed until the very end of her life.
She was a fantastic campaigner, and you can clearly see the effect she had on the number of individuals that came forward.
The vast majority of the thousands of individuals who have come forward are probably not going to get bowel cancer, but for those who do, that information might save their lives.
I’ve spoken to a lot of bowel cancer patients who said that Deborah’s actions gave them the courage to go and share their own stories.
“You know, she connected so well and communicated so effectively that they felt like they could go.”
“So it’s all those tiny talks that will keep happening, like ripples in a pond,” she said. “Because bowel cancer is not an easy one to speak about.”
Heather stated about her daughter’s kids, “They’ve been great. I believe Deborah instilled in them the importance of enjoying life.
And despite the fact that they do miss her. They are living it because their mother wanted them to. We as a family are also proud of the incredible legacy she has left behind.
In a tragic farewell letter, Deborah urged her children to “take risks and live life now” and to wed for love.
“Take a risk and support you. In a section of her book, which will be published on August 18 and was excerpted by The Sun, she advised readers to “remember to be your number one cheerleader.”
Don’t wait till retirement to explore the world and all it has to offer; do it now.
Sebastien Bowen, her husband, testified earlier this month about the challenges he had while living with the former deputy schoolteacher, whom he wed in France in 2008.
She was maximising every single second, Mr. Bowen told the Times. However, that was she. The willingness to accept life even in the toughest circumstances is how I will always remember Deborah.
She loved life more than anybody I know, and she loved it even more as time passed and each moment grew more precious.
She was so frail that she was unable to do anything on her own, which frustrated her since she was by nature a fiercely independent person.
She eventually became paralysed from the waist down and had to contend with the psychological struggle of accepting her new disability.
She wasn’t even able to go to the kitchen to grab food, clean up, or get dressed.
I’m not going to say it was simple. We had to get used to it since it was all new to us, but it also made us feel closer to her and to one another.