Lola Jean, a professional dominatrix, can raise her male customers over her head and pin them to the ground despite her height of 5’3″.
In a session dubbed “Wrestling for Lovers,” Jean, a specialist in fetish wrestling (wrestling for sex), is now imparting her UFC-inspired skills to daring New Yorkers. In 2017, LT Hawk, a jiu-jitsu instructor, gave Jean his first set of wrestling techniques.
Jean recalled going to the apartment of their friend-of-a-friend Hawk many times each week for lessons. The jigsaw pieces “simply connected” after many months of practicing chokes and holds, according to Jean, who spoke to Insider.
She made the changes first in her professional life and subsequently in her personal life. In sex, Jean said she cherished the feeling of being playful and rough. Additionally, she discovered that the methods worked well for several “sexploits.”
They developed “Wrestling for Lovers” less than a year after Jean had her instruction from Hawk, and they have been developing it ever since.
The pair conducts internet instruction and sporadic live seminars at play events in New York City. Before letting students attempt either, instructors in both go through safety precautions, perform techniques on one another, and explain the idea of “baby bear play” (wrestling that walks the line between playfulness and aggression).
Insider spoke to two students who claimed the course gave them more self-assurance and showed them novel methods to play with power dynamics in their sex life without worrying about being hurt physically.
In-person instruction in New York City teaches pupils how to use both physical force and interpersonal
One individual who attended the play party in person but requested anonymity out of respect for his privacy stated he’d never gone to anything like the sexy wrestling lesson.
Soon after arriving in New York, he discovered the event on Jean’s Instagram. He chose to go to the event alone since he was bored and just had enough money to pay for a ticket. He hoped to get knowledge for his own life.
He was anxious to grapple in front of others and explain what he was about, but that anxiety quickly subsided once he started attending class, the unnamed student said to Insider.
The pleasant and informal attitude in the class pleased him.
As Jean and Hawk discussed safety practices with the students as they stood in a circle around them on cushioned mats, such as touching your partner’s shoulder twice to “tap out” of a motion rather of using a safe word. Before class, they advise students to remove their jewelry and to dress in close-fitting sports attire that won’t twist or provide a choking danger.
Following demonstrations, Jean and Hawk demonstrate how to blend closeness and force by pressing and hugging each other back-to-back. They also demonstrate how couples may modify their bodies to compensate for physical limitations, weight disparities, or pain in a certain position.
It is a fallacy, in Jean’s opinion, that play-wrestling requires just physical power.
She described it as more akin to an unchoreographed dance, where the gestures are simply combined and flow from one to the next.
Before doing experiments with a partner, Jean and Hawk have students practice grips on their own wrists to help them understand their physical strength.
Another participant, who wished to remain anonymous for privacy concerns, remarked that mastering “baby bear play” was his favorite lesson since it was enjoyable and liberating. “I’m not really attracted to competitive wrestling because if I give it my all, I’ll just end up hurting myself. But doing it with someone who shares your goals and desires is enjoyable, he said, according to Insider.
Play-wrestling, according to Jean, helps children consent and communication.
According to Jean, learning to fight in bed might be good for relationships.
She said she often hears from couples who believe the techniques they mastered in the program enhanced their relationships and communication abilities.
Since play-fighting calls for an exchange of power, Jean guides the kids by having them talk about restrictions and limitations. It’s important for couples to maintain open lines of communication throughout all “Wrestling for Lovers” lessons, so you have no option but to state your wants and preferences.
At the end of the day, Jean added, “You’re doing this to connect with someone else, not simply to win.”