A woman’s uncomfortable first date encounter with a man has gone viral on social media and reignited the debate about who should pay on a first date.
The woman, Talisa, recorded the video, which has been viewed over 13 million times, as her date began to turn sour.
Initially, the conversation starts innocently enough, with Talisa expressing her willingness to cover her half of the bill, but the situation quickly turns dramatic when the man offers to walk Talisa back to her hotel room, and she declines.
He accuses her of wanting a free meal and implies that he expects sex in return for paying.
The video has caused outrage on social media, with many calling out the man’s behaviour and highlighting the problematic expectation that paying for a date entitles someone to sex.
The debate about who should pay on a first date is an age-old one, and some argue that it should be shut down entirely.
Elite dating coach Stef Frodden believes that if a man initiates the date, he should pay for the entire date.
However, many women take a different strategy and will offer to pay out of politeness, but it is merely a gesture.
The tactic of letting the man pay is often used as a way to suggest another date, but if a woman is not interested, she will ensure she pays her half of the bill to avoid feeling obligated.
Experts suggest that the expectation that paying for a date entitles someone to sex is a result of the intersection of capitalism and patriarchy.
Boys and men are often taught that they must act in certain ways to ‘be men’, and many feel entitled to behave in ways that they otherwise would not.
Furthermore, some men use paying for a date as a tool to exercise power and control over women.
In Talisa’s case, she felt pressured by her date, and he became angry when she declined his offer to walk her home after paying for their meal.
Stef recommends that if a woman feels unsafe on a date, she should make a safe exit and not worry about paying or anything else.
The reason why these interactions occur too often is down to a general misunderstanding when it comes to expectations.
The majority of women want to feel taken care of and provided for, and the current confusion in dating is present because men presume that women want to pay their way and that they will be offended if they take the lead.
Nonetheless, there is still no excuse for making anyone feel obligated to have sex with them, regardless of who pays for the date.
»Woman’s encounter with a man has reignited the age-old debate about who should pay on first date«
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