A breakup or divorce is something that almost everyone goes through at some point in their lives, and it may be incredibly confusing.
Breakups, like the emotions that accompany them, are complicated.
It’s critical to psychologically prepare yourself for an emotional rollercoaster that can change from day to day or hour to hour.
a viewpoint with Phemelo Motene chatted with marriage counsellors Magauta and Nhlanhla Zwane, who provided some advice on what not to do after a break-up.
LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION
Magauta discussed how crucial it is to get through the first few weeks after a breakup or divorce.
“One of the biggest mistakes that people make after a breakup is to keep open lines of communication, between you and the person you are walking away from.”
“You typically see this with couples with “peaceful divorces”, in real life amicable separations don’t exist, it’s all an illusion.”
“One of the things I advise people is that in the beginning, stay away and avoid calling this person. When you do this you are going to be creating unnecessary fights, and people may not understand what I am talking about.”
“Over time the other person will blow up. In the beginning, there’s still a lot of turmoil. Where possible, try and find people that will help the two of navigating those first few weeks.” she says.
Because some people are unsure whether or not they are divorced, Nhlanhla believes it is critical to be extremely clear about where you stand with someone.
“Some people are not sure that they are divorced, for them, it is not here and it is not yet a reality. They say maybe he will change, especially the one who really doesn’t want the divorce,” says Nhlanhla.
Listeners to Kaya 959 were encouraged by Magauta and Nhlanhla to seek treatment from a skilled and experienced mental health practitioner and to recognize that therapy takes time and helps clients make more educated decisions.
