Husband turns wife’s personal issues to a subject of discussion with friends

Dear Abby,

I have been married to my husband for over 30 years, and in the past five years, I’ve had numerous medical procedures, surgeries, and doctor’s appointments. However, my husband thinks it’s okay to share my medical information with family, friends, and even strangers. This makes me uncomfortable.

I recently asked a friend to pray for me before an upcoming test, and she agreed to do so until I told her otherwise. However, after the test, my husband shared the results with her without asking for my permission first. Although the results were good, I had planned on telling her personally at a later date. I think that my medical information is personal, and I believe it’s nobody else’s business.

I’ve asked my husband multiple times not to discuss my medical information with others, but he thinks it’s not a big deal. He was even upset when I went to a couple of appointments without telling him. I explained why I did this, but he still didn’t seem to understand or care about my feelings.

Do you think I am being too sensitive, or should my husband keep his mouth shut? I feel violated and would appreciate your advice.

Sincerely, Violated in Arkansas

Dear Violated,

Your husband is oversharing, and he should respect your feelings by keeping your medical information private. It’s not appropriate for him to discuss your health issues with others, and you shouldn’t have to beg him to keep your personal information confidential.

Consider asking your husband if he would be comfortable with you sharing his personal medical information with others. Perhaps if he realizes how uncomfortable and invasive it can feel, he will begin to respect your wishes. If he doesn’t, you may need to consider more drastic measures, such as giving him a taste of his own medicine.

You have a right to privacy and to control who knows about your medical issues. It’s important to make sure your husband understands this and respects your wishes.

Sincerely, Abby