Euphemisms and anecdotes

On March 9, 2023 at 9:00 pm, Tony Hunt was reminded of a story from his time at a veterinary hospital in Britain after reading about Paul Keir’s experience with animal euphemisms (C8).

New employees were directed to never use alternative words or phrases for euthanasia after a client had brought her dog in to be “put to sleep” on Guy Fawkes night due to its severe noise phobia.

Unfortunately, the attending vet and the client had different interpretations of the phrase, resulting in a distressed owner and a deceased dog.

Maurice Collins of Wollongbar shared an anecdote that further emphasized the dangers of euphemisms (C8).

He recounted a vet telling a dog’s owner that they would have to “put him down” because the dog had “dirty feet” while looking at the sick dog on the table.

Col Burns of Lugarno doubted the instructions in the flight manual for a Skyfox (C8).

He believes that it’s unlikely the manual states to “continue normal operation” in the event of impacting a three-metre obstacle that jams a primary flight control (aileron).

Burns also expressed that the joyrider who flew into a souvenir in her parent’s garden is fortunate that there isn’t a smoking black hole as a result.

Jude Alcorn of Mullumbimby shared a humorous anecdote about the first “bricks” for phones (C8) coming into fashion.

Pedestrians at a red light in Brisbane city found it amusing when the driver of a flash car in the next lane over was speaking into one.

The driver of a little VW Beetle leaned down and pulled off his shoe to talk officiously into it, mimicking the flash car driver.

Paul Keir of Strathfield said that “it would kill a brown dog” (C8) is a basic statement used to describe something particularly noisome.

To emphasize the point, one could add “on a chain.” Keir shared a story from the early 1980s when a senator said the meals from Parliament House would “kill a brown dog,” leading to the chef’s brief resignation.

In protest, the chef and his staff sculpted a metre high brown dog out of butter and margarine. Keir’s family believes that the brown dog of legend is the notoriously tough “red” kelpie.

According to Andrew Dettmer of Indooroopilly (Qld), the above brown dog quote (C8) can be attributed to Bill Hayden.

When Hayden was the leader of the Opposition, he was asked about the quality of Parliament House catering and famously replied, “It would kill a brown dog.” Dettmer believes that as a Queenslander from Ipswich, Hayden would know.

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