The Unexpected Honeymoon Experience:
Whatever activities I imagined I’d be doing on my honeymoon, phoning my mum in floods of tears wasn’t one of them.
But my husband Alan and I had just consummated our marriage — and it had been a huge disappointment.
Far from sensuous and thrilling, it was a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it perfunctory affair.
In 1978, Carole Baker recounts her honeymoon disappointment, marking the beginning of a 35-year marriage without a single orgasm.
Despite five children, Carole reveals her unfulfilled sexual journey.
The ‘Orgasm’ Gap and Female Silence:
In a time of sexual liberation, Carole sheds light on the often-overlooked reality of women faking orgasms.
The ‘orgasm gap’ persists, with fewer than 50% of women climaxing during intercourse compared to 90% of men.
The silence around female sexual gratification remains a taboo, especially for older women.
Cultural Constraints and Early Experiences:
Carole’s limited knowledge of sex stemmed from a conservative upbringing in the Welsh valleys and a Roman Catholic boarding school.
Her sexual awakening came later in life, discovering the concept of female orgasms in her 30s.
The Dutiful Wife and Silent Endurance:
Raised with traditional views on a wife’s duty, Carole navigated her sexual life in the ’70s, where a woman’s enjoyment was often secondary.
Despite being devoted to her husband, she never experienced an orgasm in her marriage.
Late-Life Exploration and Acceptance:
Carole’s pursuit of orgasm intensified in her 50s, driven by changing attitudes and the influence of the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.
While never achieving climax, she embraced a more exciting sex life with her husband until his death in 2015.
Post-Widowhood Challenges:
After losing her husband, Carole entered a new relationship, navigating sexual intimacy with a different partner.
The quest for orgasm remained unspoken, reflecting the enduring challenge women face in prioritizing their pleasure.
Reflections on Liberation and Hope:
At 64, Carole envisions a future where women’s pleasure is valued equally. While too busy for a new partner now, she contemplates the possibility of a relationship with a younger, more understanding man who could guide her on a path of sexual fulfillment.
The journey continues, filled with hope and a call for societal change.
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