A non-binary tradesperson from Melbourne has discussed how they are raising their kid to be “gender expansive” in order to escape the “gender indoctrination” they see to be prevalent in our culture after suffering with their own gender identification for over thirty years.
Seven months ago, Sommer, 37, and his wife Stephanie gave birth to Juno, who was given the gender of a girl at birth.
Sommer is adamant that as a new parent, their daughter won’t be constrained by the same gender norms that they were.
Instead, they and Stephanie want to teach Juno to be “gender expansive,” and they prefer that her call them “PomPom” rather than “Mom” or “Dad” since it is a playful but neutral phrase.
Sommer (above) began identifying as non-binary two years ago after feeling as if they had lived their whole lives in a “costume.”
Although the kid was given a gender at birth, its parents want to raise it to be “gender expansive.” A stock photo of a baby is shown.
In contrast to gender neutrality, Sommer noted, “we use the phrases gender expansive more often because I believe that the latter implies that she just wears beige and has no color in her life.”
Therefore, we use the term “gender expansive,” which means that our kid will be allowed to express themselves in whatever way they want, regardless of the sex they were given at birth.
Now that Stephanie is their wife, Sommer is bringing up their daughter Juno to be “gender expansive.”
People may believe it comes with a lot of pressure, but we aren’t exerting any; we’re letting her be who she wants to be.
Before deciding to educate Juno that gender doesn’t define her until she is old enough to choose what she wants to identify as, the couple had first contemplated parenting Juno to be gender-neutral.
In Sommer and Stephanie’s version of gender expansive parenting, Juno plays with toys for both sexes, wears clothing appropriate for each gender, and is exposed to good role models of both sexes.
HOW DOES Gender Expansive WORK?
A person who is gender expansive is not constrained by established gender roles.
Instead, they don’t fit into any certain gender identification and want to “life outside the box.”
These individuals may or may not identify as their birth sex, but they do not adhere to the “gender norms” that go along with that sex.
The couple recently surmounted a challenge by locating a daycare facility that welcomed their family.
The pair struggled to locate a center that was really inclusive and wasn’t rainbow-washing to attract more clients, according to Sommer, despite living in a “woke” neighborhood.
We just looked at daycare facilities, and we usually question “Are you open to all? Are there any LGBT novels here? “and something like that,” Sommer remarked.
Many people may claim they don’t, but we can prove they do and that they are inclusive of everyone.
But I just feel like that’s not a sufficient response. I want a location where my child will feel included and not left out.
“We have located a playgroup with a rainbow theme.” As a result, all the parents gather in a monthly Rainbow Families meet-up.
According to Sommer, they have had trouble letting their family know about their new gender identification and parenting style.
They dress Juno up so well and call her lovely, Sommer said.
Fortunately, Sommer said that the pair can balance the frilly gifts with hand-me-downs from Stephanie’s nephew to ensure that Juno still has a choice of clothing options.
Stephanie first noticed Sommer had “gender difficulties” two years ago, at which point they started identifying as non-binary, according to Sommer.
In order to treat their dysphoria or dysmorphia, some had breast removal, with Stephanie at their side to support them during the procedure.
She said that since they continuously felt uneasy in their bodies and “hated” how they were developing, puberty was a terrible time for them.
I didn’t feel as if I belonged anyplace. As Sommer told Daily Mail Australia, “I felt like I was simply living my life but having all these feminine demands forced on me.”
Stephanie and Sommer want their kid to live without boundaries and challenge gender stereotypes.
I became really melancholy as a result. I had to wear a dress since I attended a girls’ school, and it made me feel like I was dressed up.
I wasn’t being myself. I just felt strange in a dress. I had to put it on in order to leave the house.
Tradesperson Sommer claims that their place of employment has gone above and above in demonstrating acceptance of their identity.
They have been outstanding. Before I began, they really held a meeting to discuss my pronouns, Sommer said.
Even though it’s automatic, they found out how to adjust my email address so that my pronouns are on it.
It was given priority, and that has been fantastic.