Fording the Turbulent River of Reality to the Shores of Peace
If you’re in a serious relationship, you’re going to have challenges, full stop. It doesn’t matter how much you love him or her, or how much she or he loves you. You’re going to have miscommunication. Money issues will come. You’ll have conflicts rooted in home ownership, personal careers, relatives, children, and the list goes on.
However, you’ll have the happiest times of your life. You’ll have a partner who is always there to help you when you need them. You’ll do things together that build lifelong memories, you may start a family, and that family may continue for many generations. So the turbulence is worth it. Think of it very much like fording a river.
When you get in the water on one side, that’s marriage. When you get out on the other side, that’s retirement. The crossing is fraught with thrills and spills; it’s a fun challenge. The trick is making it to the other side, rather than turning back, and to that end, consider the following.
- Understand That Transition is Natural Over Time
Nothing stays the same forever, and you wouldn’t want that even if you could have it; though as you get older, time goes faster and faster, so the transitions seem to come more swiftly.
They don’t, but that’s the perception. You need to realize that a relationship transitions from head-over-heels romance to a strong burning fire that can withstand anything; but it takes time. C.S. Lewis puts it best in this quote.
When you understand things will change, and that’s good, it helps you keep from panicking when you’re in a new phase of romance. The head-over-heels phase is limited, and it will never last forever. But the next phase in the relationship is even better, and leads to yet another.
- Keep the Flame Alive With Consistent Surprise
Something else you’ll want to do is mix things up with a few surprises every now and again. Sure, the puppy love phase disappears quickly enough, but your significant other will always like a few properly planned and executed romantic surprises. If you can get a chain of romantic surprises going, you might find this becomes a habitual part of your relationship. - Do Things That Are New to Both of You
This point combines aspects of the first two. First, since things are always changing, the best way to spice things up is for you and your significant other to try something neither of you has done before.
You might both love it, you might both hate it. Maybe only one or the other of you likes what’s going on. Well, in that case, you’ve got ample opportunity for another novel date that the other partner likes. Try new things, and be open to unexpected outcomes. Here are some ideas if you’re having trouble thinking of anything.
The Power Couple on the Far Bank
Do things new to both of you, keep things alive with surprise every now and again, and remember that over time, all relationships change. Expect that, lean into that, and don’t let that reality discourage you. Altogether, a mindset with these things as a foundation will do much to preserve your relationship for many happy years.