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A Redditor and mother of two has set a limit on receiving calls from her spouse just before sleep.
The mother, whose Reddit pseudonym is “musa895”, recently sought help in the “Am I the A—–e?” (AITA) forum after refusing her husband’s calls when he called the children too close to “lights out.”
“AITA for not answering when my husband called to speak to our children before bed?” inquired the mother in a Dec. 13 post.
The mother noted that maintaining a regular sleep routine for her two young children, aged 2 and 4, is “very vital.”
She stated that if her husband must travel for work, he always FaceTimes the children at night.
The pair agreed that he would call at 6:30 p.m. because the children’s bedtime is at 8 p.m., the mother revealed.
However, the husband never fully adhered to the arrangement, the Reddit user wrote.
A Redditor and mother of two has set a limit on receiving calls from her spouse just before sleep.
“He called late from the beginning, but he was always remorseful and explained that his meeting ran long, so I first overlooked it,” musa895 stated.
“After the fourth time, I informed him I wouldn’t accept his calls after 7:30 p.m. because it was interfering with their sleep schedule and he was calling later and later each day.”
The mother admitted that she ignored her husband’s calls to speak to their children for three days after 7:30 p.m.
Even though I recommended he call earlier if it would work better for him, he is now unhappy with me.
The woman with the Reddit moniker “musa895” stated that maintaining a decent sleep routine for her two small children is “very vital.”
Redditor “Friday-cat” remarked, “My children are 8 and 11 years old, and their bedtime is 8:30 p.m. Getting them into pajamas and into bed in that 30-minute window is difficult enough without interruptions.”
In a comment thread, user “anneofred” stated, “Jesus Christ himself could call a half-hour before kiddo’s bedtime and I wouldn’t answer. “I have a 10-year-old, and the bedtime routine still takes precedence!”
In an interview with Fox News Digital, licensed psychotherapist Amy Morin, editor-in-chief of Verywell Mind and headquartered in Florida, weighed in on the debate.
While it’s easy to sympathize with the father who is juggling his work schedule and social obligations, the mother is the one who is “in command” at home, according to Morin.
“She established clear guidelines for when phone calls are acceptable for her and the children,” she said. “Her refusal to answer the phone after the specified time is a remarkable example of her self-control.”
“She is unwilling to allow her husband’s work schedule to interfere with the children’s demands,” continued Morin. She is demonstrating that she regards her own needs and those of her children.”
Morin advised that the healthiest approach for the sake of the children would be for the father to figure out how to call them earlier in the evening.
This may necessitate a change in his work schedule, or it may necessitate days without communication.
The family could come up with innovative ideas, such as the father sending a video greeting he taped the day before.
Morin noted that it is essential for the at-home parent to take charge of the family and establish healthy boundaries in the best interest of the children.
The mother admitted that she ignored her husband’s calls to speak to their children for three days after 7:30 p.m.
She stated, “Parents should keep their arguments away from their children and actively problem-solve together.”
Dr. Michele Borba, a parenting specialist and educational psychologist from Palm Springs, California, concurred that the greatest method for children to attain restful sleep is if their parents adhere to a plan.
“The more inconsistent the sleep schedule, the more difficult it is for children to adhere to it,” she told Fox News Digital.
Some children are easier to lull to sleep than others, but only mom would know.
“Father can also attend the next pediatrician appointment to hear the doctor explain the importance of a sleep schedule.”
Dr. Michele Borba
Even though the scenario is difficult for the father who is on the road, Borba believes that a plan B may be in order for this family, and the ritual of calling at a specific time is essential to maintaining a “strong relationship.”
“Dad may be able to find an appropriate time before dinner, during lunch, or at another time,” she remarked.
The pair agreed that he would call at 6:30 p.m. because the children’s bedtime is at 8 p.m., the mother revealed.
Borba, who is also the author of the book “Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Some Kids Struggle and Others Thrive,” suggested that the father get a recordable book or record himself reading the children’s favorite bedtime story.
“When Dad returns, Mom should include him in the bedtime ritual so he knows the significance of routine,” she advised.
“Father can also attend the next pediatrician appointment to hear the doctor explain the importance of a sleep schedule.”
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