As a professional wedding planner, I have witnessed both excellent and negative guest behaviours. Thankfully, being a good wedding guest is not always tough.
Here are eight ways to be a terrific wedding guest, ranging from double-checking the information you’ve received to asking how you might assist.
Before you pose a question to the pair, make sure you don’t already know the answer.
Before you ask the couple any questions, ensure that you’ve double-checked the facts you have.
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Modern marriages include a great deal of information, from wedding websites to COVID-19-safety regulations to multipage invitations.
Check these sites prior to contacting the couple, especially if fewer than two weeks remain until the wedding.
Ask yourself, “Am I doing this for myself, or for the couple getting married?”
Weddings evoke a variety of emotions, making it easy to lose oneself along the road. Before making a request, you should ask yourself, “Am I requesting something that will benefit myself or the couple?”
It is OK to respond, “This is for me.” Use this as an opportunity to explain to the couple why a certain request is so important.
Place yourself towards the front during the ceremony.
Despite the fact that the first two rows on each side of a wedding are often reserved for VIPs, rows three and four are typically available, so I recommend seating there.
Even better, if you have been seated for a time and you see empty seats, go up. Prior to the entrance of the wedding party, the area will appear fuller if guests are seated in the front rows.
Don’t walk down the aisle if the ceremony is about to begin.
Refrain from walking down the aisle prior to the start of the ceremony.
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You would think that avoiding walking down the aisle would be apparent, but I have witnessed people returning from the restroom do so as the ceremony began.
Rather than work their way around the side of the ceremony space or wait until the end of the processional, the visitor went down the aisle in front of the wedding party. Please avoid doing this.
Remember that no one can read your thoughts
Whether you require a space to breastfeed, are allergic to a certain food, or are unable to safely traverse stairs, I believe that the majority of attentive couples take these factors into consideration. In addition, it is difficult to remember the individual needs of each wedding guest when planning.
If you feel comfortable doing so, communicate your needs to the couple at least 60 days before the wedding. With your permission, they can then share this information with the vendor team members who can be of the most assistance on the wedding day.
If you wish to assist, specify how you can do so.
Typically, the most effective methods to assist a couple on their wedding day are to assist with set-up and clean-up. For set-up, this typically entails arriving two to three hours before any pre-ceremony photos or events, and for clean-up, it is being sufficiently sober at the end of the day to put stuff away.
If nothing of these activities work for you, but you still want to help, ask the couple what their greatest wedding obstacle is. Utilize this response to determine how your unique skill set and schedule might help reduce this stress.
Don’t make any assumptions
Never presume that the pair will continue past traditions.
Source: Image:Getty Images
Not making any assumptions is a guiding principle in my work as a planner, and you may utilize it as well. Regarding current weddings, do not presume that the couple will continue customs that were significant 30 years ago or use the gendered language that plagues wedding preparation.
Instead, if you want to know how the planning is proceeding, you should ask open-ended questions. For instance, “What has been the most surprise aspect of wedding planning thus far?” alternatively, “Which portion did you enjoy the most?”
Believe the couple is aware of their desires.
It never ceases to amaze me how prevalent gaslighting is in contemporary wedding preparation. Despite the fact that two adults who have normally spent multiple years and endured numerous life challenges together have decided to marry, there is typically someone who believes they do not know what they want.
Exceptions exist, but you should nearly always believe the pair when they tell you what they want. Whether they’re putting cash on their register, refusing to wear white, or forgoing the wedding cake, it’s probable that they’ve taken these decisions intentionally and because they add value to their relationship.
If you are uncertain, do not assault with your viewpoint. Instead, try asking, “Are you in a position to take advise on this subject?”