Victorian man must hand over his father’s ashes to his former nanny who had affairs with the father

Victorian man must hand over his father’s ashes to his former nanny who had affairs with the father

After losing a Supreme Court battle to save his father’s ashes, a man will have to give them to his former nanny-turned-stepmother.

The man’s father passed away in October of last year from problems associated to Covid-19, and was cremated in November following a ceremony.

After the burial, the man kept his father’s ashes, but a Victorian Supreme Court justice has commanded that he give them to his stepmother.

After 39 years of marriage, his father divorced his mother in September 2020. A month later, he wed his second wife.

A Victorian man has been ordered to hand over his father's ashes to his childhood nanny after the pair had a decades long affair (stock image)The lady who had looked after the son as a youngster while serving as the family’s nanny said in court that she had been in a relationship with her current husband since the 1990s.

In 2002, they had a kid together.

The father’s son planned his burial following what he said were directions in a 2017 will after the guy passed away.

‘After I pass away, my funeral arrangements shall be solely decided by my son … other family members shall not interfere,’ the document said.

A second property agreement said ‘how my ashes should be kept shall be decided solely by (my son)’.

The wife argued both documents were forgeries.

The son did not tell his father’s wife what he had done with the ashes, and she did not ask him, the court heard.

Issues arose between January and March this year when the son refused requests by the woman’s lawyers for a copy of the death certificate.

When one was provided in April it was revealed to have multiple errors – referring to the first wife as his current wife and not referencing his daughter at all.

The court heard the son was responsible for the errors. He claimed he had misunderstood the form.

A court ruled since the man's father had chosen to get a divorce and marry the nanny 12 months beforehand, she should keep his ashes (stock image)

Justice Steven Moore said the man lived happily with his second wife for the last 12 months of his life and it was appropriate the son hand over to her his father’s ashes.

It would be inconsistent with community expectations if a deceased person’s spouse did not have authority and control over their partner’s remains, he found.

He also questioned the relationship between the father and son, pointing to disparaging comments made by the son and the fact he only learned through a cousin that his father had been hospitalised with Covid.

‘All of these matters sit uneasily with the defendant’s claim that he maintained a ‘normal father and son relationship’ with the deceased until his death,’ Justice Moore said.

The wife had offered to consult with him about how the ashes would be dealt with.

Justice Moore ordered that after consultation the wife have the right to deal with the ashes in her sole discretion.