Petra Khashoggi donned a white linen beach dress, a radiant smile, held a bouquet of pink and white flowers, and… well, that was about it when she wed “the love of my life” — dashing man-about-Manhattan Danny Baker Jr — ten days ago.
Less than five minutes passed during the civil ceremony. There was no wedding cake, reception, or father-daughter dance.
In fact, according to Petra, Jonathan Aitken, her father and the former Cabinet member who lost favour quickly after a DNA test revealed she was his daughter, has never even seen his son-in-law.
Because of how “remote” their relationship has become, when Aitken learned Petra had wed, he congratulated her by email rather than phone. They have texted about her mother, the stunning Soraya Khashoggi from the 1970s.
Petra tells me, “I would say that my connection with both my mother and my father is distant.” The reality is that I’ve felt pretty alone in this world. Although I had numerous privileges, my life was not as affluent as many thought.
Petra carefully selects her words. When she became 18 years old, she learned that Jonathan Aitken, not the late, flamboyant millionaire weapons trader Adnan Khashoggi, who had raised her as his own, was really her biological father.
She is quite content right now with her stunning 44-year-old hubby. She admits she has “struggled with trust and safety since there was a lot of inconsistency and misunderstanding in my childhood,” even though she feels utterly loved.
She admits with unflinching honesty, “I was in a terrible depression for quite some time.” There had recently been a traumatic end to a three-year relationship, and a lot of things seemed to occur at once.
“I had a tremendous disappointment with a book I had worked on for five years, I was in a terrible job, my first father Adnan had passed away, and things had become quite tense among family members — that happens a lot — but he was the glue that kept us together,” I said.
“I felt like there wasn’t much positive in my life after Humphrey [her 15-year-old Cavalier King Charles spaniel] also passed away.
The thought, “What am I doing here? ” did cross my mind. It was a very gloomy and stressful period. I believed that independence and mental serenity would never come to me.
There weren’t many people who stood up for me,’ she said. I was shocked by the lack of emotional support, especially from my family. I have always thought that families should support, love, and remain together. My family’s strained bonds were the primary cause of my melancholy.
“I shut down and become really lonely.” The depression persisted unabatedly. It seemed as if the battle would never be won. I can get why some individuals decide to end their life.
One of the few persons who often checked in on me was my dear buddy Salman Rushdie. He is aware of how people are.
He has no aversion to the night. She takes a little pause and displays genuine sadness. She refers to the vicious assault on the writer’s life by saying, “We were meant to meet for a drink the week it occurred.”
“Yesterday, I spoke with his kid.” He is making little improvement. I’m simply so happy he’s still alive.
Petra has a tender heart. You are aware of how much she values the people she loves. She was overjoyed to be accepted into a family that comprised his twin daughters Victoria and Alexandra, who were just a month older than her, and his son William until a DNA test revealed the truth about her real father.
She hasn’t seen her half-sisters since their grandmother’s funeral in 2005, and it has been nearly five years since she last saw her father Jonathan, who was so happy to claim her as his daughter before he was sentenced to seven months in prison for deception.
We periodically chat on the phone and exchange emails, but I wouldn’t characterise our connection as close, she adds.
Due to their great resemblance in appearance, Atiken’s twin daughters had told him that Petra may be his daughter.
Since she doesn’t know who her father is and everyone believes we look alike, “It was really the girls who were asking, “Do you think she may be your long-lost daughter?”
He first refused since he and my mother had a connection in the 1970s that ended. Then, when he had forgotten about it, they had a fateful night, during which I was conceived.
‘I believe it was his suggestion that we have a DNA test when he met me the second time [as a friend of the twins]. He may have felt sorry for me since I didn’t know who my father was and believed it was possible that it was him.
Even before the DNA test, he assured me, “I’d love to be a father figure in your life if the findings don’t come out positively.” At the time, he showed me a lot of kindness.
The divorce of the Khashoggis in 1980, the year Petra was born, started off contentious. However, for the sake of their families, Soraya and Adnan quickly became friends.
I had a great passion for Adnan. He always treated me as if I were his own child. But when I was a little kid, I was taught to call him Uncle Adnan since my elder siblings were calling him Baba. I was very baffled.
The girls at school used to enquire, “Well, who is your father?” I just lacked the solutions.
I was warmly welcomed when I initially joined Jonathan’s family. William and I remain quite close, but I’m not sure about the daughters.
At first, I believe they thought our father was giving me a bit too much attention, but once he was released from jail and got back in touch with his wife Elizabeth, their perception of him changed. We’re not truly in one other’s lives, but I don’t have any animosity against them.
Since Jonathan became a priest in 2018, I haven’t seen him. He’s really on vacation in Spain right now, so he can’t be reached. After the wedding, we corresponded through email, and he conveyed his love along with a wonderful quote for the newspaper.
She beams a brave, “it’s the way things are” grin, but anguish is also there, you know? My mother just texted me “congratulations,” which was kind of her to do, and that was all. But my mum wasn’t the only one who skipped our wedding. Also absent were Danny’s parents. Everyone was not invited.
Although we genuinely wanted to wed, we wanted the ceremony to be all about us. We waited until the next day to tell our mums the bad news. You are aware of how moms are.
We just reasoned that telling them after the event would be simpler. My mum is a remarkable lady. She has survived. She is admirable for that.
When Petra joined her in New York for Christmas two and a half years ago, it was the first time she had seen her mother, who resides in London.
Since I had several different nannies raise me, my mother was sometimes unavailable to me when I needed her throughout my formative years. My first boarding school, which was also a day school, was the first place where I truly got to see what life was like for other kids.
I had to watch every afternoon when the parents of the females in my class picked up their children since I was the youngest boarder at the school.
She coloured her naturally blonde hair black in her teens and early 20s because she was so anxious to feel like she belonged. She claims, “I wanted to appear a little more like my other family members who had black hair and olive complexion.”
Petra immigrated to the United States 11 years ago. She quickly changed her name from Petrina to Petra and started “doing all kinds of jobs,” including those at an art gallery, a dog hotel, the opulent Chateau Marmont hotel in Los Angeles, and the Montessori School in New York.
She now works as a writer. People often believe that I have been taken care of financially, but I have always taken care of myself from the day I left home.
Wait, Petra. Adnan, who is presumably your father, did not build a trust fund or a luxurious apartment. After all, the colourful armaments trader was regarded as the wealthiest man in the world during his live.
No, not at all, she replies. I’ve lived my life mostly by myself, and that’s okay.
Petra, a former model who, at 42, had the beauty of someone ten years younger, snuck off to the Hamptons with Danny, the son of New York City’s most renowned cosmetic surgeon Daniel Baker, to wed privately in front of only two witnesses: Danny’s sister Lily and her husband James.
“We simply jumped in the vehicle and went to Sunset Beach for our mini-moon,” Petra recalls of the events after the civil ceremony at Southampton Town Hall.
When we chat, she has returned to the New York apartment she lives with Danny after that “mini-moon.” Her spouse, a friend from many years ago with whom she “reconnected” during lockdown, completes the picture of radiance. He clearly feels the need to protect her.
She tells me that as a young girl, she believed she would be married and have kids in her 20s. Sometimes, life just doesn’t turn out the way you plan. But everything always turns out how it was supposed to.
Funny enough, I had already met Danny while I had not yet met my father. 1998 was the same year as before.
I met Danny that summer because he was a buddy of one of my elder brothers (she has 17 step- and half-siblings).
I first met Jonathan six months later. Although he hasn’t met Danny, I’ve known him for a lot longer than I have my own father.
She replies, her cheeks glowing, “I’ll tell you how we got engaged because it was the moment I simply knew there was nobody else who I could ever fathom being with.”
It happened just before Christmas. Like the majority of others, I usually find Christmas to be a really challenging season. Because of the upcoming winter, family, and other things, I was depressed around Christmastime.
When Danny saw that I was having a bad day, he decided to play a goofy game with me and made me laugh so hard. I simply stared at him and couldn’t believe how quickly my mood had changed from depressed to belly-laughing.
It was a spontaneous notion that made me think, “I can’t possibly picture being with somebody who makes me feel as joyful as this.”
My mouth actually sprang open as I said. “I have to ask you a question,” I said. “Will you wed me?” “Absolutely,” was his reply.
So it was this really tender, unanticipated moment, similar to our wedding. Everyone asked when the wedding was when we were engaged. What is it? It began to seem incredibly difficult and frustrating. It just seemed to be turning into something about other people.
A mere ten days before our wedding, we both suggested going straight to Southampton Town Hall to be married without inviting anybody since Danny was born and raised there.
Since his sister was with us and her husband James had also come, we asked whether she would mind serving as our witness. We then had lunch together. It was an excellent day, really magnificent.
You can’t help but be delighted with Petra since she is so joyful.
We discuss what may have occurred if we had been together sooner since, at one time in 2007, we were both single after I ended my relationship with Eddie Spencer-Churchill and he had split up with Sophie Dahl. We’re not really sure yet.
“We think that we might have avoided a lot of pain if we had gotten together sooner, but who knows?” The timing may have prevented it from succeeding. It’s difficult to say.
I believe that in order to be prepared for the most important relationship of my life, I had to go on my recovery path. I may have done things wrong sooner.
Petra’s “journey” has involved years of treatment, rehab, a trip to the Amazon to the holy place of the Siekopai tribe, and the seclusion of lockdown. She writes eloquently about her experiences with ayahuasca in Perspective magazine.
“Danny sent me a message on Instagram.” He and I hadn’t spoken or interacted in roughly 15 years. He got in touch with me and sent me a picture of us at St. Tropez. We began exchanging messages.
“We got together [in July], two days after my 40th birthday. In Manhattan, we dined at a Greek restaurant. Given that we both had pasts, I believe we both waited before committing to anything.
After a few weeks, we made the decision to go forward and haven’t really been apart for a night since.
I consider Danny to be a member of my family. Neither of us is in particular need of a kid. Though we won’t give up, we aren’t committed to the notion.
A 40-year-old marriage is different from one that occurs in the 20s or 30s. We are overjoyed to have found one other and that we met later in life. We will always have each other, regardless of whether we have kids or pets. It seems as if we have discovered a harbour. Who can predict what is ahead?
Will they have a wedding celebration? Yes, and everyone is welcome; but, for the time being, we simply want to enjoy being married. We both anticipate leading a straightforward, tranquil existence.
without the challenges posed by families? She responds with her brilliant grin, “Exactly.” Our time has come.