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At the time of publication, more than 7,000 comments and approximately 35,000 votes (either “upvotes” or “downvotes”) were posted on Reddit in response to the account of a young mother who left her sobbing triplets inside the house while she went outside to get “some fresh air.”
After receiving an outpouring of sympathy from the social media community, the mother updated her post with new information. She thanked those for assisting her during a hard time, which included an argument with her fiance.
Fox News Digital reached out to professionals, including a clinical psychologist in New York City, for professional input on the issue, as well as the poster for additional comment.
A 20-year-old mother of two-month-old triplets confessed on the subreddit known as “Am I the a–hole” that she “never expected” to become a mother of triplets.
“Therefore, when I first became pregnant, it was the furthest thing from my mind,” wrote a mother with the user handle “TripletsMom0.”
She told others, “I’m home with my children all day, and I’ve even had to transfer my education online.”
She stated that her only relatives are her fiance and his family.
“Sometimes all I need is a breath of fresh air, especially when I can’t get them to stop crying,” she wrote about her infants and how she approaches the difficulty.
“I often become really frustrated to the point of tears. She said, “and the father isn’t here to help because he’s either at work or in school.”
She wrote that her fiancé is 24 years old.
She reported that his parents “rented us an apartment on the first floor.”
“When I step outside, I’m literally just sitting on the chair next to the door, and I have a baby monitor with a camera in [the babies’] room.”
She stated, “I can literally see and hear them, so if anything were to happen, I could quickly reach them.”
The young mother stated, “Being able to step outside for a few minutes to catch my breath is extremely important to me, as I begin to experience mini-panic attacks when I cannot get them to stop crying.”
The Reddit member claims she is home with her children all day and has been compelled to attend online classes.
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She reported feeling “extremely frustrated” and “extremely overwhelmed.”
She wrote to the community that “being able to go outside gives me a chance to calm down.”
The response within the homeland
The young mother described what transpired when her fiance “came home to find me sitting outside while the babies were crying.”
She stated, “He freaked out, calling me a horrible mother and a bunch of other names that I won’t list here.”
“He thinks I was being extremely negligent and putting the babies in danger,” she added, adding that he even told his family about the incident.
She continued, “Everyone appears to be against me now.”
The young mother revealed another layer of her personal history to provide Reddit users with additional information
She wrote: “I grew up in the system,” apparently referring to the foster care system.
“My fiancé’s family is the only family I’ve ever known,” she wrote. “It breaks my heart that they are so angry with me.”
She continued, “I don’t believe I was doing anything wrong or putting my children in danger, but they appear to believe otherwise.”
The mother continued, “So here I am, pondering whether I should apologize for my actions or whether I am the jerk in this situation.”
Later, the young mother returned to the Reddit topic and updated others on her situation.
She commented, “I decided to show my fiancé this thread.”
Initially, he was furious with me for exposing our personal difficulties with strangers on the internet, despite the fact that it was anonymous.
The young mother continued, “But in the end, when he had a chance to calm down and hear me [out] – and all of you out – he actually apologized.”
He “promised me,” she continued, “that he would be more involved with parenting and is even willing to take parenting classes; I will hold him accountable for this.”
She continued, “I would like to thank everyone for the support you’ve given me. It brought tears to my eyes (happy tears) to see how kind you all were to an internet stranger. I don’t recall ever receiving so much support,” she added.
She said, “I cannot believe how popular this post has become.”
The neighborhood’s response
One mom with the user name “Important Lawyer 350” wrote to the 20-year-old mom, “When I had my baby, one of the things the nurses told me repeatedly while in the hospital and during the home visits was that if she is crying and I know she has been fed, has a clean diaper on, and isn’t sick, and I’m getting stressed out, it’s okay to go outside for a few minutes to collect myself.”
This mother added that the nurse’s exact comments were, “A crying baby is a healthy baby.”
This same Reddit user said, “They tell you this because it is preferable for a baby to be left to cry for a short time while the parents take a break than for frustrated parents to harm their children.”
Another empathetic Reddit user replied to the young mother, “Dad came home to three alive, crying babies.” You were with them all day, fed and cleaned them, and had a monitor on them while standing just feet away.”
This individual continued, “You are a tired, incredible, NTA [‘not the a–hole’] mother of these children. Continue on, Mama.”
A third Reddit user said, “Perhaps Dad should stay home with the babies alone for 12 hours just to see what it’s like… How long will it be before he needs a break?”
Another individual wrote, “There may be a church or school program that provides volunteers to assist you a few times per week.”
Many Redditors expressed their support for the young mother who was overwhelmed.
This commenter summed up what others had said: “I have twins, and compared to having a single child, there is practically never a break. There was usually one infant who need assistance. It is more chilly now that they are older. But it’s so darn difficult when they’re still not sleeping through the night. Because it is constant alone.”
This same commenter also stated, “My heart truly breaks for this poor girl. I had twins at the age of 32, and my hubby is 100 percent in the trenches with me. And I still felt overwhelmed by having two newborns.
She continued, “This woman is deserving of all the support and accolades, as well as a medal.”
Regarding the father of the three infant triplets, another Redditor wrote, “Respectfully, from one father to another, he’s not doing enough. And yelling at you does nothing to improve the problem.”
This individual continued, “I’d encourage you two to have a sit-down chat and for you to explain everything to him. I understand that it is exhausting to work all day. However, he still has ‘off’ time. You don’t.”
The same author also stated, “A mother is always on duty, and he must recognize this and take responsibility at home. Your fiancé is in danger of becoming an enormous jerk if he does not get his act together.”
Yet another Reddit member responded with a sentiment shared by others: “Do you have postpartum care? I am confident that your physicians, nurses, etc. will inform you that parents of multiples require assistance.”
This individual added, “I hope [the fiancé] can accompany you to your next checkup; if not, please ask the health care provider.” They will not only affirm that you did the correct thing, but also acknowledge that you require assistance and breaks.”
Still another reader remarked, “I’m concerned that none of them [the fiancé’s family] appear to be offering any assistance, only criticism. Three infants and one adult are not acceptable.”
The input of professionals
Dr. Jayme Albin, a clinical psychologist in New York City, told Fox News Digital on Sunday, in reference to the difficult situation, “Clearly, the mother did nothing wrong by sitting outside with the baby monitor.”
Yet “clearly,” she continued, “she and her fiancé have different notions of what constitutes safety.”
She stated that they must therefore “discuss it so that both parents feel comfortable.”
Albin continued, “Being a new mother, let alone a mother of three, is quite difficult. And it’s even more difficult when other family members weigh in with their opinions.”
“It’s probably best if the husband tells his parents to stay out of it and stops feeding them information,” she said.
Albin said, “She should seek the advice of a professional to determine if she is suffering from postpartum depression, and she should consider obtaining emotional support, perhaps by joining a mommy support group.”
A part of the website of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, is devoted to the care of multiple newborns.
“Healthy multiples have the same needs as other newborns,” it states of the difficult chore of caring for multiple infants at once. However, you may require more rest and assistance than you anticipated, particularly if your babies are born early or require special medical care after birth.”
Includes the site in the list of parents of multiples. “You also have an increased risk of postpartum depression. Consult your physician if you suffer any symptoms of postpartum depression.”
It also invites parents to “take time to enjoy your babies and to seek assistance from friends, family, and others when necessary.”
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